Y.O.U

For somepeople who never seen me cried
I do cry
For somepeople who never seen me mad
I did.
I cried for something that i never reached
I mad for fallen to the arms that never belongs to me

Love is about payment
You pay with love
Or
You pay with sacrifice

I choosed the second one.

I never ask to met him
He came to my life, or i did
Acidentally, we've met!

Acidentally, we're a reflections
I never ask for this fellings
Never ask for the answers
But ...

I'm just human.
For sure, a woman.

Who just have a heart
Who always feel jealousy
Even the blame is always in me.

I released that feelings
I gave it permissions
And then i convessed

I really want to escape
I really want to go far far away
I really do that things. Alone.

But i remember why i convessed.
Just because i really really known
In this way, i'll never meet someone like a mirror to me
Never.

I smashed my heart into a pieces
I put them in a jar
I saved them deep inside the room

I cant face it throught
But i have to
I cant leaved him alone
But someday, i really have to

I really want to ask why?
But i know the answer
Allah just let me know,
Theres always somebody who has a problem like me or maybe even more

Why i fallen?
Thats my fault
I known he never belongs to me
But i decided to go after him
And now, i'm lost.

Lost in that eyes who always opened besides me
Just only for the night
Lost in his arms who always i reached when fall a sleep
Just for a few hours

At the end
I know love is about freedom
Love is about sincerities
Love is about respected for any decisions he tooks

At least
I never lied to myself
I saved my ego for myself
I never tooks the one without knowing the consequences

Cause loving you has  a consequences.

And magically,
I never regrets everything that we've done!
I never regrets this fellings
Never regrets to met you
Never regets every single things

I known you came for a reason
I want to be that reason
But you choosed your own reason

Thats oke, love is freedom right?
It is a freedom for me too to stay in the line
And then gone while had a chance

Dont be changing
Cause we dont have much time to see one on another
Even i never had a chance to keep
At least i know how it feels, be with someone who really you needed the most

Good night, ilvy :)